


I smile because I think of you.

by house0fstark (hellodestroya)



Series: Sleeping to Dream [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-03
Updated: 2012-05-03
Packaged: 2017-11-04 18:03:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellodestroya/pseuds/house0fstark





	I smile because I think of you.

Sometimes, Loras Tyrell dreamed and he smiled in his sleep. His dreams were vivid, so realistic he could hardly tell the difference between what was real and what wasn’t. He dreamed of sunshine and laughter, of Highgarden and Storm’s End. He dreamed of dark hair and light eyes and secret smiles and years long passed when he was a squire and he polished armor instead of wearing it. He remembered so many things, so many good things. He dreamed of flowers and stags. Sometimes, his dreams were abstract, and sometimes they took form. They took on human qualities, and the sunshine became laughter and the wind became the warm breath on his cheek. 

The song of birds become a voice that brought him to tears, tears of happiness, until warm lips kissed them away. Sometimes, all these things brought to him a perfect remembrance of Renly. Not Renly the King, but his Renly. In his dreams, they lay on the grass, warmed by the sun even if the shade of a tree, and he could spend endless hours with his Renly. No armor adorned him, for this was a place where war did not exist. No pain. No sadness.

“I’ll always be here, Loras. My Knight of Flowers. But please, for me…do not forget how to live. I cannot, and so you must. For the both of us.” Renly would whisper softly, dragging his fingers along the inside of Loras’ wrist. Renly had always liked his wrists. Loras would shake his head. 

“No one dies here. No one goes away to a place I cannot follow. I will never have to miss you here.”

“Oh, my beautiful boy. This place is magic. It is perfect. But there is a world out there. It needs it’s knights. My Knight of Flowers, does your duty end when I have passed?”   
Loras always knows he is right, but he doesn’t want to hear it. 

“My duty was always to you. I have loved you all of my life, even before I knew what it was to love. I will love you, and keep you with me…even if only in this place. No one can touch us here. Tell me you love me. Tell me you thought of me in your last moments.” He would say, insistent. 

“Ser Loras of House Tyrell, Knight of Flowers, Lord Commander of the Rainbow Guard, my heart was always yours. I love you. I thought of you every moment of everyday, and there was never anyone else. Not ever.” 

His voice is exactly how it had been, the way he tilts Loras’ chin up so he can look into his eyes is so Renly, and Loras would find himself lost again in it. He would feel the tears burning again, tears of joy, for all the things they never got to say. Sometimes, in his dreams, they would make love. He could feel Renly’s hands, the trail of his tongue, as if it were real. His lips and the sounds he would make. After, Loras would lay, tucked against Renly, fingers fitted between his, Renly’s hand combing out his curls, and he would just listen to Renly speak.

“You must be brave, my love. Living is hard and it hurts. It is the hardest thing to do, when death is so easy. But you must not let it happen. You must be brave, when you are terrified. It’s the only time a man can be brave, after all. And you are that. You are a man. You are strong, and clever and beautiful. If you survive, and you must Loras, you must! If you survive, you must promise me you will not let them destroy you. You must not become so hollow, that you no longer remember what living was like. “

“I don’t want to be brave. I want you to be with me, always. I want to love you in this place where we are free. I can protect you here…”

“My dearest love, you did protect me. You were my armor, and now you must be my sword. You must fight because I cannot. You must live because my life was taken from me.”

There would be no argument after that. “I love you. I love you so much. Be brave,” Renly would whisper as he pulled Loras close to him and buried his face in his hair. “For me, be brave. Whatever is left of me lives in you.”

Loras would awake, and the feeling of Renly’s arms around him would linger. His smell and his taste and his voice. Margaery would ask him what had him in such a good mood, as he smiled through the morning. He would respond quietly, so only she could hear, “I am learning to be brave.”


End file.
